Who am I
In an attempt to hide my gray from the world, but mostly from myself, I color my hair often. I’ve done this for many years. Today it is a mix of multiple layers of browns and blondes. People ask me all the time where my daughter got her long dark hair. I smile and say, “me!” Lately, I find myself wondering if that is in fact true? Was my hair ever that dark? I have colored my hair for so long, I can’t quite remember exactly what my natural hair color is anymore.
Like my layers of hair color, my experiences and traumas have created layers over my true identity. They shape how I see myself. They also make it hard for me to see who God created me to be. I then question and doubt when God calls me into something He knows I would be perfect for. Too many times I hear people say "why would God ask me to do this or that? Doesn’t He know who I am?" The truth is, He does know you. He knows everything about you. He knit you together and breathed into your lungs. He has seen you at your best and at your worst and He loves you through it all. No one can escape this “coloring” process. We all have traumas and experiences that shape what we think and how we see ourselves. So what are we to do? When you start to doubt God, it is very important to ask yourself two questions, "Is it my experiences and doubts causing me to question God?" and "Does this match God's teaching in the Bible?" What is the truth and how do we find it? The truth is, I am human, flesh and blood, I fail and fall short. I am emotional and I am weak. God is everlasting, never changing! He is the same then, now and tomorrow.
Today, let's start removing those layers and learning the truth about God and our true identities. Take the first step to be the closest version of you, that He designed you to be.